Desperately Seeking
Forty By Forty
F*ckit List - NOW WITH AUDIO
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F*ckit List - NOW WITH AUDIO

40 Things To Do Before I Turn 40 and the weekly roundup. This will be the regular Monday post and 'podcast' for free subscribers' to follow along with this year-long challenge.

As promised, the list is complete but I’m starting to feel a tiny bit overwhelmed by this challenge. I tried to throw in some easy wins but it’s still a lot for someone who keeps themselves as busy as I do. Maybe that’s part of the point? I need to make time to complete this list.

I’ve already started booking things in the diary to tick some things off and reaching out to friends to see what they might be interested in doing with me. None of these things are essential or must be completed before the deadline but the idea is to really push myself to live a little so when I do turn 40, I can look back at the last year as a reminder that I’m not winding down. I’ve definitely felt a physical shift in the past few years and I can see how it happens. You cease up the less you do and I’m starting to feel older. If I’m lucky I have as many years ahead of me as behind and I want to be fit and well (physically and mentally) enough to enjoy them.

  1. Have What She’s Having - Visit Katz Deli

  2. Learn Film Photography

  3. Have a Colour Analysis

  4. Write a Book

  5. Spend a Day in London

  6. Get My Smear (and remove my coil)

  7. Take a Pottery Class

  8. Learn to Crochet

  9. Do a Handstand for 10 seconds

  10. Read a Physical Book

  11. Create a Planner to sell

  12. Go to a Pilates Class

  13. Make Something I Can Wear

  14. Watch a New York Sunset

  15. Watch Fireworks at Disney

  16. Buy a Piece of Original Art

  17. Give up Alcohol

  18. Learn to Play a Song on Piano

  19. Write a letter to my 50 year old self

  20. Play The Lottery

  21. See a Motivational Speaker

  22. Give Blood

  23. Throw a Dinner Party

  24. Swim in the Sea

  25. Attend a Silent Disco

  26. See a Brand New Show

  27. Go on a Solo Date

  28. Run a Workshop

  29. Plant a Flower Garden

  30. Take a Historical Tour

  31. Put Washer Fluibd in My Car

  32. Plant Snowdrops

  33. Create a Mood Board

  34. Visit a National Trust Park

  35. DIY Facial

  36. Make a Time Capsule

  37. Go on a Bike Ride

  38. Reconnect with an Old Friend

  39. Go to a Football Game

  40. Meditate

As I said before, these aren’t all things I’ve never done - I talked about the smear in yesterdays bonus post - but they’re things I’d like to do and if it suits, I’ll document them as I go. Next week we’re starting .. possibly easing myself in, I”ll see how I feel.

On with the weekly roundup

How is it already the middle of the month? I think the awareness that time is whizzing by me lately is both adding to my fear of the forty things but also encouraging me to make more plans. Life is literally passing my by and I’m spending it counting down to time when I hope I’ll have more time. What a waste.

With that said, I feel like I did nothing this week. I got a better handle on the kind of content I want to work on this year so that was a positive but once again feel like I started many jobs and finished none. This week the kids (I still always say kids even though Ella left school a while ago) are off school and that’s a total pot luck as to whether I will have more or less time to myself. I’ll try to use it to organise the house a bit and reset. I always feel bad holing up in my office to write of film when Milo is home all day but if I’m pottering about, he can find me and we can do something if he wants.

In case you missed the weekly vlog, I went to the hairdressers, did a little vinted show and tell with some insanely sized shorts (6 inches larger than advertised) and chatted a bit about the potential of opening a shop. Something I’ll talk more about as it becomes a reality.

Towards the end of last year lots of people were requesting longer videos so I settled on a weekly vlog of 45mins or more but the views are no more than when I posted several shorter videos so I’m tempted to go back to the old schedule from March. Maybe Weekly Vlog part 1 / part 2.. we’ll see.

I watched a Ted Talk called, ‘the death of the follower’ and it really got in my head. I’ve written something more in-depth about it for Friday but it has made me think about youtube as a viewer and a creator and how the motivation has changed because the ranking and algorithms have created an environment where in order to thrive, you have to cater to new viewers rather than the old ones. That’s never been my bag so I’ve never been very successful and I suspect changing my format to more long-form was a bit of me bowing to the pressure of what people want vs what I want to create. Like I said, more about that on Friday.

I also filmed a couple of ‘favourites’ videos. One was a casual ‘here are some unfun items I never talk about but use all the time’ that I dubbed my ‘unsexy faves’. I felt like that might be a nice juxtaposition to all of the lovey dovey valentines videos on Friday.

..and the second was a look back at my beauty faves from way back in 2015. The idea was to see what I may still have/use and compare my favourites then to what I use now. Some have stood the test of time but my use of powder a decade later is very very different.

You couldn’t have paid me to use an oil underneath my foundation in 2015 but now? I can’t live without it. Not many people have that kind of time capsule of themselves so, narcissistic as the medium may appear, there are some self development benefits too. I’m half tempted to send some old videos to my therapist sometimes. ‘Rather than explain who I am ,it would be quicker if you just watched this video of me watching myself in another video’.

In other news, I had my nails taken off. Not as brutal as it sounds but almost. I’ve had builder gel or acrylic on for a few years at this point but while trying to cut back on needless spending recently, it did occur to me that this was an expense I could cut.. for a while at least. I’ve pre-booked my holiday nail appointment but thought I could save a little money in the interim and it also coincides with a lot of manual work I need to do for the business. Having glossy, long nails is not conducive with erecting a 6ft tent and carting all of our stock around for a market stall.

I tell you something else I did this weekend that I didn’t know was a thing. I edited my instagram feed. It’s a work in progress so I’ll let you know next week how it’s going but I didn’t know you could add keywords for things you’d like to have taken out of the suggested posts, you can reduce the amount of political and sensitive content you see AND you can both reset and PAUSE suggested posts entirely.

Recently I’ve felt less and less inspired by instagram. I’m constantly pulled in to fights about social issues that I just cannot scroll past and it’s not a healthy spot for me. I want to see more of the people I follow and less of the rage bait the platform serves me because I cannot help but engage with it. I know it’s my own fault but you get stuck in a cycle. Or not, perhaps. This may have been my way out. I unfollow people regularly to try to keep people I want to see coming up in my feed but pausing suggested posts has been MARVELLOUS! Game changer.

So for you free subscribers, I’ll be back next Monday with another roundup and an update on my 40by40 list and for anyone supporting my content via sub stack, I’ll see you on Wednesday on Friday too!

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